Addicted to Cheese -- There, I've admitted it!

Subtitle: Eat the Rainbow


I have developed a chart that helps me eat to create good mental, physical and emotional health. I have discovered that, at 43, I can still feel incredible -- I mean stupidly good. Then again, I can also feel like microwaved cat poo. This depends entirely on a few, measurable things.


The most obvious of these “measurable things” is sleep – if I sleep enough I won’t get sick. I just won’t. Maybe I’m lucky. I probably am. However, if I feel something coming on like a tickle in my throat, a dull headache or heavy fatigue that is hard to fight – I sleep. Call out sick. Get a sitter. Do what you have to do to get the sleep that will fight your cold or black plague or whatever it is. You’ll lose less time (and money) than if you let yourself get sick.


Get sweaty!

The next thing is exercise. This is essential for anyone prone to depression, anxiety, attention deficits, irritability etc. Hit a bag. Jump on the trampoline. Go to yoga. Ride your bike. Take a hike. Whatever, just get sweaty. With this you won’t get sick as often and you will be able to deal with irritations waaaaaaaay more easily. It sounds too simple, but seriously, exercise is the best and most underutilized antidepressant out there -- and it is free. (#screwyoubigpharma)


nom nom nom

Here’s the hard one – eat whole food. It’s actually not that hard. Contrary to popular opinion, fruits and vegetables are not more expensive than processed foods. They’re cheaper. I bought a cabbage today for $0.49. That is affordable – you can find that much money on the parking lot floor right now. Here’s why it is hard – shitty food is addictive. You’re addicted (yes you are!) and I’m addicted (cheese – You magnificent jerk, you! Why do I love you so?!?!?!). I’ve had to come up with something to stay honest about my diet’s veggie to cheese ratio. I have concocted this little Rainbow Chart. Every week I will try to eat the target number of whole foods (these can be veggies or fruits) that correspond with the colors in the chart.

Here’s my hope. If I hit the rainbow target I will have less room for cheese, crackers, and other garbage in my spacious stomach. I already know from experience that when I eat that many veggies and fruits I am smarter, sleep better, poop like I’m going to the pooping Olympics, and am in a better mood. With veggies and fruit my skin is better, I’m stronger, I’m thinner (is this not motivation enough?!?!?!), and I’m hotter (like that is possible?!). My cheese addiction should not be stronger than all of these benefits.


Here’s the chart. Please do this with me. Let me know how you fare.


Try to hit the goal number of servings by the end of the week.

I would like to note that I am not a doctor. If you have weird allergies to everything or come from a planet with different vegetation or don't like this idea, see your doctor. He'll give you some pills and you'll continue to have all your problems -- plus some pills. (But seriously, I warned you, I am not a doctor so you know you're on your own and you can't sue me.)


PS Eat Veggies, Eat Fruit, Exercise, Sleep -- live like a boss!


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