You're the average of the five people with whom you spend the most time.
Updated: Oct 5, 2020
I know you've heard that before, Tim Ferriss says it all the time on his podcast. You hear it from health and wellness coaches, financial gurus, personal growth writers -- anyone who talks about improving life.
Fit people have fit friends, Rich people have rich friends. Smart people have smart friends. Spiritual people have spiritual friends. Well, you get the idea.
How do you shift your five people when you are trying to improve yourself? You don't want to be disloyal or reject the people in your life who might make you feel like it is ok to postpone your desired goal. You know the pals I'm talking about -- you're trying to drink less and they think that's lame. Or you want to get up early to exercise and they keep you up late eating popcorn and binging Netflix. You're trying to become more positive and they want someone to complain to. They're not malicious or anything, they just haven't made the same goals you have.
The good news is, you don't have to have an elaborate "break up" with platonic friends. Just fill your time with productive, happy, healthy people and productive, happy, healthy leisure time.
First -- look at the people you know who have achieved the life you want.
Your super healthy friend probably goes to a yoga or spin class. Go with her to her next yoga class.
If you don't have any super healthy friends find a wellness guru online to follow and stream. I'm currently loving cardio and resistance workouts by Autumn Calabrese and Shaun T, and the YouTube yogi channels, Boho Beautiful and Yoga with Adriene (both of those are free). Find a fitness group you can join -- a class, a community, a church that hosts free yoga, walking, or fitness classes. Eat more veggies, drink more water, and get more sleep. Boom! You're the super healthy friend now.
Ask your wealthy friends what they're reading and add it to your morning reading. No wealthy friends? Read Suze Orman, Dave Ramsey, Phil Town, Denise Duffield-Thomas, Jen Sincero (the list goes on and on) and join some facebook communities for people who are trying to make and save money. Wealth is a learnable skill.
Have coffee with your positive friends (that always puts me in a good mood).
No positive friends? Well, that you've got to change. But in the meantime, read about happiness and positivity. Good starting points are Oprah, Jen Sincero (she's delightful and funny), Tony Robbins, Tim Ferriss, Kevin Hart (hilarious), Gay Hendricks. And seriously, find some positive people to spend time with.
People love to share what makes them thrive. Your successful friends will be happy to let you know what works for them.
When your not-so-positive pals want to hang out, suggest something positive like a yoga class as your outing. If they want to go, then great, you've been a positive influence in their life. If they don't want to go that's ok too -- but don't get sidetracked from what you want to accomplish.
Your time is your own. You have a right to strive toward your goals.
* Daniella Bozzone is a private investor and mindset and habit writer. Check out her positive children's books on Amazon
Books/Products on positivity, wealth, and fitness by gurus mentioned in this article:
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