Many years ago I was deeply unhappy and depressed and there was no obvious reason why I should be. I was young, healthy, pretty, smart...all the stuff. But I was absolutely brutal in the way that I talked to myself. I was always calling my self worthless, less than the others, fat, --- think of a mean thing to say to someone, and I said it to myself ALL THE TIME. It is no surprise that I was miserable, and pretty unsuccessful at anything that I tried.
I was using my thoughts and words to sentence myself to a life of being a worthless, miserable, failure. I had all the talents and abilities it would take to do whatever. But since I refused to even acknowledge their existence and insisted that I was a big, fat loser I sentenced myself to struggle and sadness.
We behave according to our beliefs. If we believe we're not worthy of love or happiness we will create that reality for ourselves. If we believe we are worthy of love and happiness --well, that is pretty motivating and uplifting.
Somehow, I don't even know how, divine intervention, I suppose, I finally realized that I had to start being nice to myself. I didn't love myself yet, but I knew I had to stop verbally abusing myself. I decided that if it was too mean to say to my sister or my best friend I would not say it to myself.
It was the beginning of improving every aspect of my life. I stopped dating men who weren't respectful enough for my sister (and therefore for me). I stopped unhealthy behaviors that I wouldn't want my best friend to do. I started feeling hopeful. I started enjoying my own company.
I still have moments where I need to be reminded to be nice to myself but overall I treat myself like someone I love. I am someone I love now. That brief moment of decision changed the trajectory of my life. I have had hard times, of course, but I have not been depressed since that time. When you treat yourself as though you are a person of value you can manage the hard times better and you can create more joy and abundance in your life and everyone your life touches. It is because you now believe that you have value. Christians talk about being precious in the sight of God -- you don't need to be a person faith to feel how that idea illustrates the depth of how valuable you are. Religious or not, you are every bit as valuable as that phrase indicates. Believe that you are precious you will start treating yourself with love and respect.
Believe that you are precious and your life will be more joyful and hopeful.
*Daniella Bozzone is a habit and mindset writer. She has several uplifting children's books available at Amazon and in select stores. She is the sole proprietor of DesigningDandelion -- gifts for the motivated and determined.